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[ most of the time, Hanzo's avoidance has been in the form of silence or sleeping, and simply trying not to be in the same room as Genji at times. but right now, even as the evening grows late, he's completely gone. and he wishes he could leave it at that, collect himself elsewhere and return, but. he's more rattled by the things Reaper said than he wants to admit. ]

Reaper spoke to me.
He talked of you.

[ Genji's heart drops to his feet and he feels the pressure of anger start to bubble up from his stomach. His blood pressure rises so fast that his systems shriek in alert in his ears for a second. ]

Whatever he said to you was not for him to tell.

He revealed nothing new about you, and said nothing to me that was not true.

[ now that it's passed, Hanzo isn't even sure what about it struck him so badly. just... the way it was said. to hear it from someone other than Genji with all his patience. like someone gave voice to all the worst things Hanzo has feared.

seems like you still don't see eye to eye, Reaper had said. of course Genji has no reason to trust him. what does Hanzo think he's doing, with any of this? ]

No.
My apologies, I should not have messaged you. It is late.

[ He can't let this sit. It feels like twenty steps back from where they'd come. ]

Brother, no. Please listen.
>Reaper used to be the man who was my commander in Blackwatch.
>And I am not who I was back then anymore.

I believe you, Genji.
I know that you have changed a great deal.

[ it's Hanzo that hasn't changed. not enough. he wishes he could just leave this be, but he suddenly, desperately just— ]

You should not forgive me

[ His heart cracks a little. ]

But I have, Brother.
>Where are you? I do not want you to be alone.

I will be fine.

No, you will not be.
>Please. I am worried about you.

[ he considers refusing, maybe even turning off his phone — but Genji is stubborn. if he means to pester Hanzo, he'll track him down whether Hanzo cooperates or not. (of course it has nothing to do with Genji's words, with a sentiment he only ever used to hear from his brother and only realises now that no one has ever felt towards him since. Please. I am worried about you.)

(if this is all an act on Genji's part, it is a cruel and clever one, to know exactly how to pry at Hanzo's heart.) ]

The rooftops of the business district.
There is a sign for Bülent & Feige on the building.

I will be there soon.

[ People might think the building's on fire with how fast Genji starts running. He's cursing himself as he rushes towards the business district, knowing he should have handled it better. Should have warned him about Reaper the second he knew he was there, who he was. (No, he wanted to protect him... alas.)

He scales the side of the building (because stairs or an elevator would just take too damn long) and climbs over the ledge. He's actually panting a little and he looks over at his brother.

Genji pauses and reaches behind his head, undoing the airlock on his face plate. But he goes a step further, the helm on his forehead rising up and disengaging as well. The head covering comes off as well, the spikes on the side of his head retracting backwards. He holds it all awkwardly in his hands a moment before crouching down and placing it on the ground.

He hasn't taken off his entire head piece since he'd arrived. Hasn't in a long while, actually. His hair is a little messy, beginnings of gray at his temples, and his expression is— stricken. The wrinkles around his eyes are pulled tight. His voice is even hoarser than it usually is without the modulation. ] Brother. I should have warned you about him, I thought— I wanted to protect you.

[ as soon as he hears Genji rushing up the side of the building, Hanzo startles to his feet, turning just in time to see his brother come over the ledge. and whatever he might have said to preempt Genji, anything he would have used to try and cut this off at the pass for fear of the uncertainty of not knowing why Genji cares so much about this — all of that dies in his throat when the entire helmet comes off.

it isn't something he could articulate, or even process clearly, but he thinks... he thinks that for the first time, it really hits him that this is Genji. that Genji is alive, and grown, and here. ]

You— [ his own voice croaks. ] There... was nothing to protect me from, Genji. He did nothing to me.

[ only words, and true ones at that. it wasn't Reaper's place to comment on any of that, and Hanzo had been clinging to his anger for that, but in the end he can't say that it wasn't deserved. it's the lashing he'd been expecting from Jesse McCree all this time; people who have the right to feel any protectiveness over Genji.

and the possibility that Genji could ever want to protect him from anything at all, which is so far from possible it isn't even worth considering as the truth. ]

Yes he did. [ It's abundantly clear why he keeps the mask on, as Genji has always worn every emotion on his face. A decade of having to hide behind a visor did not do much to help that. ] He went after you to get to me. [ He looks incredibly bitter then, lips pursed and nose wrinkling. ] Right out of our Blackwatch playbook.

[ But the expression falls and he shakes his head, stepping closer to him. ] With this impossible situation we've been placed in, I didn't... I didn't want to bring up all that ugliness right from the start. But— [ Genji sighs and puts his forehead in his hand. ] Maybe I should have. You should have heard it from me.

[ Reyes always taught lessons the hard way, after all. ]

[ he has to admit that he'd wondered why it hadn't come up yet; but then, both of them have been trying to deal with this as it is now, and they haven't sat down for any kind of talk about the decade they've missed of the other. Genji's time with Overwatch, Hanzo's fleeing from the family, none of it. that had made sense to him. Genji doesn't really plan to keep him around, so there isn't any point in discussing the past. ]

Really— [ it's exasperated, or as much as it can be when Hanzo still seems small somehow, ashamed, unable to look Genji in the eye. ] He hardly said much about it. That you were one of his men, and that he... [ his expression twists, despairing, and his voice is strained and quiet: ] that they found you in pieces.

[ of course he's wondered about the state of Genji's body after their fight, even before they were ever reunited. it wouldn't have mattered if he'd tried to avoid thinking about it; there were nightmares to remind him, always. the shock had just been to hear it from someone else with such accusation, someone who was there and could confirm it, when no one has even mentioned Hanzo's brother to him since the day he was struck down. ]

Anything else he said was for me to hear. [ and clearly did worse to Hanzo, if the way his head hangs is any indication. ] And it was only the truth.

[ have you even apologised to him yet? he can't. he can't. maybe when Genji brings the blade down on his neck, he'll finally manage it. ]

[ Found you pieces. He doesn't remember much between the shock and confusion, of the final blow against his body. He knows he was tossed down the side of the cliff. He remembers the rock ripping at his jaw as he slid down. Remembers the feel of air whooshing by as a drop ship appeared, boots on the ground. Medical jargon. Then nothing else.

The sudden surge of anger he feels is a strange one. Not for his own circumstance, not at his family but— a protective one. He snaps when he speaks again. ] As if you did not know, as if he has any right to talk of our business.

[ No. Genji closes his eyes and takes a steadying breath, thinking of the tune of his Master's orbs. The air rushes out of him in a huff, chest deflating, and Genji crouches to the ground. He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. ] I have gone about this all wrong. I wanted to ease into it. I did not want you to think I was still hostile towards you.

You should be.

[ it comes out of Hanzo immediately, like he's been waiting all this time for the moment to say it. this isn't how he thought it would come up; he was expecting to have to confront Genji, to demand that he put an end to his mockery and just kill Hanzo already. but Genji has been endlessly patient, consistently kind, and although he still thinks it must be cruelty driving Genji, a part of him has to consider that he means his words.

in which case, Hanzo has to make him understand why that is a mistake. he says again, more heated and intent: ] You should be! He was right, I—

[ no. there's no point in this, and it's long past time for this to finish. Hanzo straightens himself and lifts his chin, jaw set with determination. his voice is quieter and more composed, but grave, and no less insistent. ]

Enough of this, Genji. You cannot be this naïve. [ maybe he was once, but after what Hanzo did, and with what Hanzo has heard about the way he was in Blackwatch, it isn't possible. ] And if this is some... some cruel charade, then I am begging you — enough. Kill me. I have waited long enough.

[ this is surely how things are supposed to end: with Hanzo surrendering the last of his honour to Genji, and grovelling for the mercy of death. ]

[ It's like a kick to the head. No, to the chest. The air is knocked out of him for a different reason and he nearly wheezes. There's the beginnings of a warning sound in his ears before he sucks in air again.

How did he not notice? Maybe he was too hopeful, too... happy to have his brother at this side again. But no, the man had always been stubborn. It was naïve to think he would believe him after one single conversation.

Yet.

Genji slowly stands up and meets his eyes. There's a lump in his throat and he swallows around it. ] There is no charade, brother. I meant what I said. [ He takes another steadying breath and closes his eyes. Best to get it out of the way, to hear it from him. ] Back in Blackwatch? I did. I would have slain you the second I saw you. I was furious for years. [ He opens his eyes. ] But I mean it when I say that I am a different man now. If I killed you... what would that do?

[ He shakes his head. ] We are only victims of birth and circumstance, brother. These are not things we had any control over.

[ so much of Genji's change has been for the better. he has all the things now that he lacked when they were younger, calm and focus and maturity. but whatever has him convinced that he shouldn't kill Hanzo was a mistake, and one that will be undone with time, as Genji realises that something in Hanzo is fundamentally bad, that he will never change — and Hanzo doesn't want to face Genji's disappointment when that day comes.

he's always feared failure, worked desperately to avoid being a disappointment to anyone. it'll be unavoidable if he doesn't stop this in its tracks. ]

Victims? [ it's incredulous; genuine confusion. he steps forward with one foot, hands balled into fists at his sides. ] I was a victim of nothing. I did this! I had time, and warning, and the blame is mine because I was not good enough to prevent it!

[ he'd known that. even before the elders told him, when the order to kill finally came — because you could not keep your brother in line, because you failed — he knew it was his fault alone. ]

[ All of his leftover ire is only at the feet of their clan anymore. It bubbles to the surface as he's blindsided that his brother apparently cannot see it. ] You were never allowed to be a child!

[ It's probably the loudest his voice has been in weeks. Genji snaps his mouth closed with an audible click and shakes his head. ] How we were raised was wrong, brother. It was wrong that you were groomed and it was wrong that we were pitted against each other. They brainwashed you and made you into their weapon. And they used you when I became a liability.

[ Genji's features ease. ] The only people to blame are the elders and our father.

[ at first he's silent in the face of Genji's anger, shocked beyond any words to retaliate — but Hanzo is shaking his head as it goes on, before Genji even finishes speaking. this is the anger that should be directed at Hanzo, how can he blame the family for it? he knows that Genji always resented them for trying to pull him into something that he wanted no part of. he can understand that. but this is too much; to disrespect the way they were raised, to call it brainwashing, how dare he? ]

No. No, we were raised well. How can you be so ungrateful to our family? [ he's clearly upset just by the questioning of their methods, his old teachings still a part of him like some great, choking vine, twined around his heart and spilling out of his ribcage. ] We were brought up strong and skilled, and I was shaped to do my duty. It was never Father's fault that I failed to live up to that!

[ to question the elders is one thing. to say anything against their father makes Hanzo feel cornered and nauseous, because it just isn't done, not ever. ]

We should have been brought up with love, not expectations! Not terrified to make mistakes! You were never allowed to feel like you could succeed because then you might start questioning them! [ He hasn't felt this worked up about their past since the first time he found himself ranting at his Master, when the veil was lifted and he started realizing just how wrong things were.

He clenches his fists and takes a breath. His life support always whirs when his blood pressure rises, a leftover warning from when he was at a greater risk of sudden cardiac arrest. Genji shakes his head. ] I should have had a brother to play with, not left crying outside your study when they would not let you. [ He lets out a shaky breath. ] A good father does not treat his sons so differently.

Stop it!

[ these aren't things that Hanzo has ever thought, not once in his life. it always broke his heart to have to turn Genji away, or to be told he couldn't join his brother because he should be filling his time with lessons and training. but those things were necessary. the family had to take priority over what he wanted — it did, for so long that Hanzo stopped wanting anything, doesn't remember now what it feels like to want.

he can't keep up with this. he doesn't know what to say, but he can't just stand here and listen to Genji say these things. they aren't true. Hanzo was raised as he had to be; Father understood that, and he made sure that Hanzo would be the best he could possibly be.

(something about it hurts, though. sits in his chest like a splinter, uncomfortable in a way he can't put his finger on.) ]

Enough. [ he puts a hand over his eyes, and his voice is thin, reedy. he's shaking. ] Do you understand now? I am not— Whatever you want from me, I cannot... [ a deep, shuddering intake of breath. ] Genji. Little brother, please. I am begging you.

[ he wants to die. it's never been an option before, while Genji was dead and Hanzo had to be the one to carry the weight of the guilt and the memories because the clan would not. but now Genji is here, and for the first time, Hanzo is terribly aware of the feeling that he does not want to be alive. ]

[ All of air leaves Genji's lungs with a wheeze when his brother yells. And as he listens to him continue, his chest feels like it's about to cave in on itself.

His big brother still, still, wants to die. Genji's eyes prickle and he swallows hard. ] No.

[ His voice is even raspier, hoarse with grief. ] I am still selfish. If I killed you— then I would just be alone. [ Genji's silent for a beat, breath ragged as he gulps down air. ] I missed you. If you cannot believe anything else I have said to you, please believe that.

[ Genji really isn't going to kill him. and Hanzo has been expecting it, waiting for it every second since they found each other in the tunnels — it feels like the ground has given way underneath him now and he has nothing left. like this was his last hope, maybe. (their time at the festival had been good, could have been something close to normal for the people they are now, but it had been temporary. it hadn't been real. that isn't the kind of life Hanzo can have.)

Hanzo sinks to the ground on his knees, sitting back on his heels, suddenly drained. ] Why? [ he sounds desperate, choked. ] How could you possibly...

[ he can't imagine what Genji missed. their childhood, maybe, in which case he's looking for a person who doesn't exist anymore. towards the end, their differences were irreconcilable, at least as far as Hanzo can remember it. at least as far as the clan saw it. and even if there was someone worth missing in Hanzo from that time, it can't be enough to move past what followed. ]

Reaper was right. [ Hanzo is covering his face with both hands now, curling in on himself. ] I have not even apologised to you, I have not—

[ words keep failing him. it just makes him feel even more useless, pathetic, a disappointment. ]

[ He needs to regulate his breathing before his life support starts thinking he's suffocating. Genji takes a few deep breaths from his stomach and closes his eyes, feeling his eyes continue to prickle.

When he opens them, he sees him crouched on the ground. Without even thinking twice, he kneels down in front of him. ] I told you that honor resides in one's actions. I did not mention forgiveness.

[ Maybe he shouldn't, but he does. It feels like they're fifteen years younger; when Genji would come home and find his brother far too stressed, nearly breaking down... Genji reaches out and wraps his arms around his brother's broad shoulders. He knows he's all metal and harsh edges now, but his touch is gentle. ] All you have done has shown me that you are sorry, brother.

[ even with all of this, he doesn't expect for Genji to embrace him. at the first touch, Hanzo freezes up, and as soon as he realises what's happening, his breath escapes him all at once in a sob. it makes him feel younger, too. after Mother had died, Genji was the only one who would ever hug him. in their later years, when they were fighting all the time, Hanzo was aware of the sudden absence; but it's been so long since that he'd stopped noticing it at all.

this is the first time he's been held, or touched with any kindness, in more than ten years, and his heart aches so badly that he can feel it in the bone of his ribcage. his hands grip Genji's arms on both sides — not prying him off, just holding onto him, like he doesn't have the strength to do anything else. ]

It is not enough. [ his shaking has gotten much worse now, full-body tremors. he can't and shouldn't let this happen, but — his head is resting on Genji's shoulder anyway, the weight of his body sinking against him. his voice is terribly small: ] Nothing could ever be enough.

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